Actually I'm used to it now. XD But this was back when I didn't know my head from a hole in the ground.
You know. I wouldn't say it seems or sounds stupid as much as it says what you're doing is really not very healthy. Maybe it's because this is me, and after so much of men shitting on me I just don't give a damn and could never trust them enough, but I haven't really ever understood the connection you have with Eli. I mean, I can from a rational, textbook point of view. It sounds like he was your first love, and those never go away. So that's not the stuff I mean. What I don't understand is why you let yourself do this. He was only one man of many in the world, and from what I've seen he wasn't even a very good one (no offense). You're capable of being so wonderful with whomever you choose to open up to in this sense, but you'll never be able to do that if you keep sticking yourself back into a hole like this. It's okay to miss someone, so I'm not saying that, but it's not doing them any justice either if you're forever in pain over them. It means you can't allow yourself to love again.
So I get it, in a sense. It's just... not healthy.
I do understand not being connected to life, though. Whole heartedly. I hate looking out of my window and knowing there's no reason to go out there unless it's to buy something. Or see something. But maybe after you graduate uni and get a job somewhere, it'll be better? I mean, even if you can't find something there's always a way to make it. You have to be good at something, right? Anything will do. Like buying cheap clothes and reselling over the internet, for example. It takes a little money to make some, and if you keep the food spending down (lol) I'm sure you'll be able to do it! ♥
Ooo okay, though. Pandas... I don't know how, but I actually forgot about that. In that case, I think you'll likely get two sets of something. Probably. Once I... make them. The one you might get more of a kick out of, though. I just hope this stuff doesn't come out looking really cheap and stupid, honestly. :l
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You know. I wouldn't say it seems or sounds stupid as much as it says what you're doing is really not very healthy. Maybe it's because this is me, and after so much of men shitting on me I just don't give a damn and could never trust them enough, but I haven't really ever understood the connection you have with Eli. I mean, I can from a rational, textbook point of view. It sounds like he was your first love, and those never go away. So that's not the stuff I mean. What I don't understand is why you let yourself do this. He was only one man of many in the world, and from what I've seen he wasn't even a very good one (no offense). You're capable of being so wonderful with whomever you choose to open up to in this sense, but you'll never be able to do that if you keep sticking yourself back into a hole like this. It's okay to miss someone, so I'm not saying that, but it's not doing them any justice either if you're forever in pain over them. It means you can't allow yourself to love again.
So I get it, in a sense. It's just... not healthy.
I do understand not being connected to life, though. Whole heartedly. I hate looking out of my window and knowing there's no reason to go out there unless it's to buy something. Or see something. But maybe after you graduate uni and get a job somewhere, it'll be better? I mean, even if you can't find something there's always a way to make it. You have to be good at something, right? Anything will do. Like buying cheap clothes and reselling over the internet, for example. It takes a little money to make some, and if you keep the food spending down (lol) I'm sure you'll be able to do it! ♥
Ooo okay, though. Pandas... I don't know how, but I actually forgot about that. In that case, I think you'll likely get two sets of something. Probably. Once I... make them. The one you might get more of a kick out of, though. I just hope this stuff doesn't come out looking really cheap and stupid, honestly. :l